SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
