Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
