did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
