ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
