i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
