I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Randomize
