Grow some girl-balls and come out already
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
