When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
