uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
