booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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