Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize