jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
The cops high fived after they tackled you
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
