your parents love me but you hate me
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Randomize
