when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
