did you get engaged???
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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