In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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