hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize