Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Im part way to drunk.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
