Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
