last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
