captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
