We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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