Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
