I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
