Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
