How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
