I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
