wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
