Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
