In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize