and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Randomize
