OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
we should paint friendship bongs
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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