I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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