well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
