Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
