sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
It's official drugs can't kill me
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
