Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
