Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
