It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
My bed is full of blood and feathers
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
