I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Can I color on your dick again?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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