We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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