Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
