It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
