You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
