God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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