dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
3pm strippers are depressing
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Randomize
