I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
