He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I am full of burrito and curiosity
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
