Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
