Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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