Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
