first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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