On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
