so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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