the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
