How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
